tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369580024868519481.post6113272478024416576..comments2012-01-29T22:08:00.351-06:00Comments on Laughing Mouse WI: This'll be hard to read ......Laughing Mousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06158439471015242834noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5369580024868519481.post-33964683291204065732011-07-29T22:48:17.817-05:002011-07-29T22:48:17.817-05:00Oh, I've been there. My father died this month...Oh, I've been there. My father died this month in 2002. He suffered from manic depression and shot himself at 69. We were estranged for 20 years, but reunited the last 10 and shared an indescribable bond. It was a brutal time of grieving in my life. What helped me mourn his death was writing him a goodbye letter. I got all my feelings out and it really helped heal my heart. Now I can talk about him and the bond we shared and smile without breaking down. Now I am grieving the death of a relationship with my mom, who is still alive. I think this death is so much harder! I'm grieving the death that she will never be the mother I want, need and deserve. It's been heart wrenching and grueling facing the denial I've been in for years. It's hard work to heal when our loved one is gone either through death or they are mentally incapable of loving us the way they should. My mom is just too toxic, so I need to walk away. My heart went through a darkness I've never known and my head was THROBBING from all my emotionally pain. It was so intense. I ended up throwing up FOUR times. But I think the worst part is over, facing the truth as we come out of denial. Will keep you in my prayer, precious sister.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02909736508497784368noreply@blogger.com