Saturday, April 11, 2009

Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo

Have you seen Patti yet? (Their website) She says she is like a 2nd or 3rd generation matchmaker. She says she is in it to help men find true love. She is absolutely NOT interested in men who are looking to get laid or who want to be a playah. She has certain rules and she is very clear on these and very very strict about them. I can respect that. I can also respect that once you hit a 'Millionaire' status in life, it may be a little more difficult to meet someone who is sincerely interested in you as a person. So on a few levels I have a healthy respect for this show and what she does. Especially after she totally kicked a guy out of her office after his first date because 1) he invited the girl to jet off to Vegas with him, on the first date and 2) He told Patti he thought the girl should ask him out since she turned down his Vegas offer. She clearly has standards and expectations.

The Thing Is that I have never seen a woman on this show larger than a size ... 8? Even her two assistants are very small. She even went so far as to tell her staff at one point that a girl who sends in only a head shot photo is going to be perceived as fat and trying to hide it. My true issue with that is not the weight-ism that it perpetuates but the fact that I, myself, have dated men who liked curvy women, who liked women that had some meat on their bones. So, what is she gonna do when she gets a Millionaire Bachelor who wants a girl who was built for pleasure, not speed. How do you put out the ad that says 'Hey, we're looking for the heavy girls, 'cause I finally have a guy who isn't totally hung up on a girl who looks fantastic!!' Because, let's be honest here, no matter how good you look now ... in 50 years you are not going to look like that anymore. Even if you have a ton of work done, and you work out for hours every day, and you use all the best potions to keep the wrinkles away and the parts firm and where they belong ... in 50 years it is simply not possible for you to look like you did when you were 25. And where does that leave your relationship at? You better hope to Gawd that you actually built it on something of value and worth that can withstand that test of time.

I went to the website to see if I could get a picture of Patti and saw a slideshow of her 10 top quotes. One of them was,

"Every 10 expects a 10, and the only way you're gonna get a 10 is if you become a 10. There's no exception to that rule."
Really? What if I'm only a 7 and I want another 7, how do I find him? And what if he thinks he's a 10 and he only wants a 10, but he's really barely a 4? Then what? Being a millionaire does not automatically make you a 10. ok? Are we clear on this? Because I've seen this show a few times. And by far, the majority of your bachelors are 6 maybe 7 tops. So, don't come at me with this 'like draws like' idea because I am significantly better than half the guys you've had on the show! I said it. I believe it. I won't take it back and I won't feel ashamed about it. I am a size 16/18, single, 30-something woman who is gainfully employed, pursuing a dream, supporting herself, and trying her darndest to remain open to the possibilities of love in this godforsaken country. I am beyond willing to consider dating an older man, who is not gorgeous, who is not rich, who is not even thin or fit or in shape or any other euphemism for ripped. I am actually looking for a man who has character and substance and integrity and believes women are people who deserve to be treated well and understands that when you treat a woman well she does the same right back to you. At least half the men on your show won't even consider dating a woman over 30 ..... and most of them are OVER 40!! Are you kidding me??

I have seriously considered figuring out how to get into a Millionaire's Club. There was one guy who ended up with this ridiculous, shallow, surprisingly unattractive woman and all I could think was
"If he picked her, ... I am totally set!"
But the sizeist thing is a problem. Plus the Jesus thing. But I figure, if I'm gonna keep holding out for the best relationship for ME, then why not hold out for a richie too? I said it in an old post on my previous blog, I would be a perfect richie girlfriend/wife. I'm not a gold digger, I won't stick around if you're a jerk, I can be pampered with money, but my heart cannot be bought. So, why shouldn't I hold out for Kenny Chesney? Or Carmine Giovinazzio? Or even George Eads? I'm sure that they are looking for real, lasting love; or that they will be eventually. So, why shouldn't they find an amazing, down-to-earth, REAL woman like me? How? I have absolutely no freakin idea, but why not?

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to ignore an average joe if I meet one today or next week or next month. But why rule out the possibility of a life of fair ease where I could spend my days sleeping in and directing his charity work? Why not? I'm smart enough, and pretty enough, and strong enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!

Patti, if you happen to read this, let me know, I'd LOVE to be in your club and be the first Average Size Woman that you match with a millionaire. In fact, you don't even have to put us on TV, if you find a Millionaire who wants curves, I got 'em. Give me a call, mkay?

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