Wednesday, May 27, 2009

slob or sloth or both

according to Merriam Webster a slob is defined as: : a slovenly or boorish person. Slovenly is defined as: a: untidy especially in personal appearance and b: lazily slipshod and Sloven as a noun is: one habitually negligent of neatness or cleanliness especially in personal appearance. Possibly more pertinent is the definition of sloth: disinclination to action or labor : indolence b: spiritual apathy and inactivity (the deadly sin of sloth). For those of you still amused at my continual word definition indolence is defined as: inclination to laziness. I'm thinking I shoulda changed the title of this blog.

I'm too lazy.

I am. I am a slob. I am a dirty nasty pig. I seldom 'clean' my living space and only haphazardly tidy up the myriad of bags and piles and stuff that continually accumulate. In fact, as a 'bonding' experience my mom comes over to clean every few months. I tidy up first, and before you get all upset for no apparent reason since it technically has nothing whatsoever to do with YOU, she only does the stuff she wants to and every single time comes to my home and informs me that she "will not do the tub!" To which I have begun to reply "I've never cleaned my tub, why would YOU?" Which is half joke ... I have cleaned my tub ... twice maybe ... I dunno.

I realize at this point I probably should be more than a little ashamed to admit all this out on the Internet for anyone to see and where potential suitors could read it. But, hey, this is me. This is who i am today. I usually envision some pint at which I'll have my crap together and I'll have all these fantastic systems for keeping things tidy and neat and in order. But at the end of the day, I am absolutely chock full to overflowing out of my ears with indolence. I am! I would rather sit here and play meaningless games on facebook (anyone else hooked on MouseHunt???) than to actually be a productive member of my household. And, for the record, I am the only member of my household, so this does not bode particularly well for my countertops or dirty dishes.

In fact, I have gone so far as to devise a barter system in my mind for any future husband. They are tasks I consider to be fairly equal on some level which I will happily trade off duties. For example: I will do all the laundry if you clean the bathroom. (Nearing a level of gross here ... but I am not the one leaving the mess on that toilet ... YOU clean it up.) Also, I will vacuum if you will dust. Mostly because I don't mind vacuuming and kind of am compulsive about how one vacuums, whereas dusting is one of the single most pointless activities I can imagine. And I refuse to move things around to dust under and behind them ... thus clearly showing a line to anyone looking where my motivation starts and stops. Lastly, and my most favorite, if you're friends with me on facebook you won't be surprised by this one. I will cook every single meal for the rest of our lives if YOU WILL DO ALL THE DISHES ... FOREVER. Deal?? Message me and we'll talk details like the ring and white dress etc.

In the meantime I am surrounded by two sizable piles of papers. One is just receipts, but still sizable. Plus a pile of papers on the drawer next to me which should all be filed in my SUPER SIMPLE system I devised a couple of years ago and have never managed to keep up on. In another room there is a pile of clothes I have worn once but don' consider dirty. So I lay them out to 'air' out so I can wear them again another day. In the kitchen are the canned goods I just brought home which will probably stay there until ... Saturday? Tuesday? Who's to say. Don't get me started on the shoe rack.

And what am I going to do? I'm going to go watch a movie. After I set up my coffee and get some nesquik and a snack. They had nesquik at Aldi's ... I KNOW!!! Movie nite, here I come!!

p.s. I gotta say sloths are really kinda freakin ugly. It took me like 10 minutes to find the picture of this one that didn't give me the heebeejeebees.

1 comment:

  1. Well, ya kinda said it all and didn't leave any comments to make.

    We still love you. (Especially since you make us all look like Betty Homemakers.)