Tonight is Biggest Loser. I love this show. I watched the first couple of seasons and took a hiatus, and came back a season or two ago. I quit watching it originally because it was depressing. All these people could "Change Their Lives" and I didn't change anything. If I remember correctly, I was living with my parents at the time and only working part-time. Effectively going nowhere. At least that's how it felt. To make matters worse, although I was overweight I was nowhere NEAR a point which would qualify me for the show. So I couldn't even audition to go on to try to Change My Life!! Talk about depressing! I think someone should come up with a show ... Medium Loser. For all of us in the middle.
Already I'm digressing! In the last couple seasons I have developed a new found love of this show. Love I Say! Watching these people Change Their Lives truly is inspiring. It may not inspire me to go work out* or to stop eating the brownies I'll inevitably have in front of me. But it does inspire me to change other things. To believe in the person that I am. To believe that I can have some of the things I dream of. (Michael Buble, I'm talking to you ... he wrote this song for me you know)
*Technically they do inspire me to work out. It's just usually so dang late at night that i can't work out AND sleep at a decent time. And I have enough trouble sleeping right now, I don't need added problems.
Seeing so many contestants show their Truest Colors (I'm looking at you Married Couple from last season who paired up with Other Married Couple and dominated in spite of having no REAL desire to change your life, only to make money!) for the good and for the bad inevitably results in at least the shallowest layer of self-reflection.
This season I'm watching it with my neighbor. We were acquaintances before they moved in and now we are becoming friends. She too is a bit overweight. Although hers is more pronounced and acceptable since she is Growing a Kid! However, we say, every single week, while watching Jillian scream at someone or Bob 'kill' someone in the gym
"That is why I'd never make it on BL. I have no drive or desire to work that hard at much of anything."
And we eat another brownie and laugh with each other. Ahhhh, the beauty of camaraderie.
The true beauty, though, is that I do have a strong desire to write. To do this. For a living, somehow. And enough drive to plug away at it. Right now I'm half-ass-ing my way through NaNoWriMo. I'm handwriting a novel. In a spiral notebook. I'm probably not even to a word count for day 2 or 3 ... But I am thoroughly enjoying the ride. and I'm convincing myself that if/when I do make it big in writing, I won't have to work 8-5 and THEN I will work out every day and get more fit and healthy and enjoy my world. And become The Medium Loser!
For today, my goals are few. 3 to be exact.
1) Learn a little better every day how to appreciate and enjoy the body I am in, no matter it's size or mass.
2) Write a little more every day to hone my craft and share my thoughts.
3) Add Balance to The Universe.
Balance the Universe??? You say?? Well ... of course, if all those contestants on BL aren't eating the calories, then someone has to! There must be Balance in The Universe!! My neighbor and I will be Balancing Out the Universe with Peanut Butter Cup Brownies for the next hour or so. If you don't feel the earth tilt on it's axis, that was my doing. ;)