Tuesday, July 28, 2009

In lieu of the profound

Hey, Betty?
Yeah Ruby?
I think that girl is lookin at us.
So what?
So, she's takin pictures. Is she looking for evidence?
Evidence of what??
I don't know. Proof maybe?
She doesn't want proof. She's just admiring our beauty, elegance and grace.
Why would she do that?
Because we're at the FAIR. We're here for everyone to admire our beauty, elegance and grace! HERE to be looked at. That is what The Fair is for!

Mom and I have a tradition. The opening day of fair is always half price admission. Since all we truly want to do is eat all that gooey, deep fried, incredibly unhealthy fair food, we figure that's the perfect night to go. This year my sister joined us!!! Yay for family bonding!!

I have been noodling over some profound thoughts I want to share .... but I'm just plain tired. I want to go to bed. But I don't want to leave these pics in the can too long. So, without further delay, I give you our County Fair.

Because I have never been early for anything in my entire life, including my own birth, my sister ended up picking me up to meet our mom. "My Chariot awaits!"

What would a county fair be without oversized farm animals? Of course, I do have this ridiculous dream of getting my picture taken beside every oversized animal sculpture in the country. This makes two. And, please thank me, there are any number of pig jokes in my head that I am refraining from using for the sheer fear that my actual friends will skewer me for thinking so little of myself. Or that the strangers reading will skewer me for thinking so little of pigs. Either way .... I'm restraining myself.
Also worth noting, the odd pose of legs is an attempt to look skinny. Trying to twist myself sideways so as to take up as little space as possible. Clearly this was a fantastic idea.
My companions, while I'm waiting in line.

On our way to get cheese curds I noticed this sign. Hmmm, we'll need to revisit that.

While waiting for our corn dogs and brat, my sister spied this sign and commented:
"I don't think I would trust the 'egg salad' at the fair"

Also while waiting for the corndogs and brat I spied this nifty machine.
If you actually enjoy shaved ice,I'm sure this is a FANTASTIC contraption.
We're not really 'shaved ice' people though.
We're more 'shake' people.

An attempt to be artistic, before I realized I had a large smudge on my lens and nothing was going to come out right anyway.

I had this idea. It always starts like that with me. I thought
"How funny would it be if I could get a picture of myself blowing the powdered sugar off the funnel cake while I eat it???"
Because, really, we all have done that.
You go to take a bite and breathe just wrong and whoosh out goes the powdered sugar like dandelion seeds.
Alas, we were unable to capture the whoosh of powdered sugar.
But the funnel cake was PERFECTLY DONE. Swoon ...

While eating the funnel cake I noticed this sign. And I have to wonder ...

Why do Lutherans have a corner on the coffee market???

Then on to the cream puffs and eclairs. Two and two my mom said. Me? What are you Chuck Woolery?? Do you remember that show? That dating show ... you know the one ....

Cream puffs and eclairs safely tucked away in their bag for the trip back to their new home.

My sister got one of these frozen cheesecakes. It was really good she said.

I took the picture because I couldn't help but wonder

What Exactly ARE Monkey tails??

I still don't know, I didn't want to be scared by the answer.

See how good the cheesecake thing is? Not only is she smiling, she has a halo effect, AND

the cheesecake thing isn't melty at all. That's how quickly it's getting consumed!

We are now revisiting the deep fried cookie dough.

This, however, is the deep fried caramel apple pie that they also offered.

No word yet from mom on how good it was.

Here is my deep fried cookie dough.

Jury is still out. It was kind of like the deep fried twinkie I got a couple of years ago.

Sounds really good at first blush, but after the 2nd bite you realize that some things are too good on their own to be deep fried in a vat of god knows what kind of oil.

But they came from Emma's cookies. And I took a picture of this sign for perspective, and much more importantly because I own this sign and have it up in my kitchen!!

Of course, there is the obligatory wanderings through the vendors. Who knows which vendor might have a good pen or a great giveaway. This place, however, already got some of their business. My mom just wanted to find a guy to ask him about the landscaping she recently had done. It was actually a very ingenious and beautiful display they had set up. Certainly the prettiest by a long shot.

And, lo and behold, the EXACT guy that sold and did my mom and sister's landscaping was THE guy there tonight. So she got to talk to him directly. And ask him if he was married. Again.

Along the lefthand side of that top picture I could hear a bird chirping. I couldn't help myself but to explore. Here he is. John. As in soon to be John Doe. He does NOT look happy about this bucket .....

Inside that landscaping place they had these fantastic rock sculptures.

I want one.

I just have nowhere to put one.

But you should get one.

It would look great in that one spot of yours.

My coworker's brother owns this business.

Good peoples.

Go get a woodburning stove.

It'll save you a ton in heating costs this winter.

One of my favorite things about the Fair is the people watching.

Not only did I get to personally confirm approximately 60% of WI citizens are overweight.

But I got to confirm about 2-3% are also pregnant.

Who's been dumping their fertility drugs down the drain? Knock it off, seriously!

But, seriously, the opening night is the coronation of King and Queen of whatever.

And you get to see random high school kids walking around in suits and prom dresses.

It's kind of amusing.

And then you see things that make absolutely no sense at all. A couple years ago I heard a comedian opening for Bill Engvall ask @ our own Fair

"Since when is lingerie in for 12 year olds?"

Because that was the style of shirt everyone was wearing. That nylon/rayon stuff that had spaghetti straps and essentially looked like lingerie.

I saw this and thought "Since when is dressing like a hooker in?"

And, you can't see the worst of the 3. Her foot is just to the right of the right-hand girls right foot.

Her skirt, if you can call it that, was about 6 inches long and a half inch longer than the tunic top she was wearing. And her shoes were serious hazards. I'm honestly surprised any of them could walk. At all. Girls, let me give you a thought

"The kinds of guys this is going to attract ...

are NOT the kinds of guys you're actually going to want to keep around for long!"

And then this poor fellow. All I could hope was that he had children somewhere and that he'd won this. Beyond that, there are no words.

And, let's round it out with a few pretties.

Just some lilies I took @ the landscaping display.


Worth noting. A profound post may have taken less time. These pictures are a PAIN to get uploaded on here! Also, I have a sugar headache. Stupid, lovely, deep fried, fair goodness.


  1. I was going to wait to read this, and I am glad I didn't. There is so much here to comment on that I can't pick. But oh man, good job. Our fair was last week and the people watching was PHENOMENAL. I only ate deep fried cheese curds though. I stick with what I know. Funny-"that one spot of yours"-is the landscape guy married?-have you had your picture by the cow in Harvard? (now whenever I see a large animal I will make a mental note to ask you if you have been there...) Oh, and as always, thanks for the talking creatures! Also - my word verification? Smely. Funny even if spelled wrong (and at first, I typed smelled HA!) Ok, better get to bed, getting punchy...

  2. again, word verification was "ciliest" which made me laugh because SILLIEST haheherhhehehrehrhe (I will sound that laugh out for you the next time I see you, or ask Kelly, I think she can do it pretty well too...)

  3. I had fair food the other night too! Cheese curds, kettle corn, corn on the cob, and an eclaire. Mmm. Good post. Much enjoyed. Also appreciated your last post - we'll have to be book buddies and encourage each other to actually get our books written!

  4. I can't believe we missed you! We're old married folks, so we had to go early. I kept thinking of you. Especially when Hubby and I were debating the nutritional value of fried cheese curds vs. brats. Yep, we're obviously from WI.

    Those cow gals need to remember that they got those ear piercings so that others would notice them, duh! Is that the cow version of a tramp stamp?

  5. ahaha i LOVE the gizmo backpack!
    and that sign... nobody knows coffee like the Lutheran IS?