Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I can't resist sharing

I am crazy. But then by now you should know that. I got a new "dream" a while back. The kind of dream that becomes the goal for your life, your purpose, defines your mission statement. Not the weird Dali kind of dream where clocks drip and yet it doesn't freak you out at all. That's bad pizza. Not that kind of dream.

People ask, What did you want to be when you were a kid? I have absolutley no idea. I don't have any recollection at ANY point of my childhood where I thought "I want to be THAT!" Not once. Those same people say "If money were no option, what would you do because you loved it?" The vast majority of the time my answer to this revolves around some form of gluttony, laziness and is always incredibly self-serving. These questions have never helped me.

But my Pastor has been preaching a series out of Joshua. And he has talked ad nauseum about "your" Promised Land. So I began praying about it again. Asking God to give me a fresh vision for my future. Because I had this verse floating around and around ..... not really floating, mostly darting around and around and around "Without vision the people perish." I wasn't really interested in perishing so much. So, I needed a fresh vision. I used to have one and a very well-intentioned person killed it pretty effectively in a single swoop a few years back. But for quite awhile there I was visionless.

So I prayed. And I got an answer. I had to pray persistently. I prayed while out walking and while out cycling. I said random momentary prayers at stop lights. And completely different prayers when work was making me feel like throwing things. And one day while I was out cycling He told me where we're headed. And i thought "Oh, ok, that's cool. So, here we go then, huh?" And the next day I went for a walk and began asking again for vision and help etc and He said "We're done with that." Umm, ok, right, yeah, 'cause You answered that yesterday. Almost made me stop walking I was so startled by the incredibly quick response.

So, I've been mulling over this new dream. And in the drafting of this blog I think part of the reason I never knew what I wanted to be when i was a kid was because it hadn't dawned on me yet that I'd be good at it nor that you could make money at it. You see, I absolutely loooooved to read. From 1st grade on when Mrs. Hermanson taught me how to read, I read every single thing I could see. I read billboards and posters and the items in the grocery store. Every blessed thing. And books books books. In 3rd grade I was advanced to our higher-level reading class because I was such a good reader. As a child I simply used the stories to get lost and transport myself elsewhere. My family was great as a child, my school-life not so much. So I enjoyed the escapism of books. Also as a child, I had no clue that one set out to write a book nor that you could actually make money at it! So, I think that may have been why becoming an author never occurred to me.

The most fantastic part of the dream receiving is that within a week I had ideas for two more books. I'd gotten an idea for a novel a couple years ago. I've since gotten another idea or two for books, and at one point I had two titles but no clue what the book would be about! No I'm not going to tell you my titles, nor am I going to tell you my book ideas. Copyright gets a little sketchy at times, and I'd rather keep those to myself for the time being.

Having explained all this, it occured to me a few weeks ago that I told a good friend I was going to start working on a book and got a minimal response back. No elation for me, no encouragement, nothing significant that I can recall. And since my brain, literally, NEVER shuts off, and because of that I analyze every single nuance of every single thing around me, just to keep busy you know, it occurred to me that maybe this good friend didn't respond because they didn't believe I was a very good writer. humph. Now what does one do with that?

I freaked out a bit for a week or two. And then decided that I needed to open up my novel that I had started way back ago and see what I thought of what little bit I had written already. Before the dream. And if it was any good it would confirm for me that I'm on the right track. And if not, then I'll have to go back to praying again, or go for non-fiction.

It took me awhile, but I finally opened up my novel the other night. I had totally forgotten my prologue!! Again, grabbed me right off and I sooooo wanted to know what happened to Claire! So, it was confirmed. And I'm kind of excited about it. Actually I'm kinda freakin stoked about it. So, I decided to share the prologue here and see how many of you would like to read the rest of Claire's story. Leave me a comment and let me know, mkay? Good.

Without further adieu:

The Story of My Life: Claire (working title, subject to change)


I shouldn't have been so surprised. I mean, people had told me that he was coming after me. They had said that he wanted me. A few even told me he would never give up on getting me. I just didn't get it. No one else had ever wanted me that much for that long. By the time he found me, I figured he'd given up a long time ago. Which is probably why it surprised me so much to turn around and realize he was still there waiting with a big grin on his face. The kind of grin you see on Christmas Morning. Which makes even more sense I guess, since that's when he found me.


  1. I like it when you are freakin' stoked about something! I would like to hear more about Claire, but you know me, it has to be historical fiction and it has to wrap up in a nice bow at the end in order for me to be interested ;)

  2. It doesn't seem like people know quite how to respond when you say that you're writing a book. Probably they've known a lot of people who've said that and then never did it, so they can't muster much excitement. Or the idea sounds entirely unappealing. Like I can't locate a lot of enthusiasm for people's camping trips. I don't get it. Camping? Why?

    Anyway, I wish you all the best. I highly recommend reading On Writing by Stephen King and Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Both are part memoir, part writing how-to. Both inspired and educated me on writing and life. I've heard that The Creative Habit by Twila Tharp is also excellent, but I haven't gotten a copy yet.

    I also wanted to say that you are right to not share your ideas, not because of Copyright so much as because ideas are fragile and need your love and coddling before they can be exposed to light and people. Most people won't mean to, but they'll break them if you hand them over.

  3. Superfantastic - I know exactly what you mean. How many people have you or I heard say "I'm writing a book!" And not only do many people never finish them, MANY people have zero writing talent to begin with!

    And I get your point about ideas needing to be protected. That's right at the top of the list of why I'm not just putting the ideas OUT THERE for anyone breezing by here to STOMP ALL OVER!

    Real Me - Yeah, I know. This first one isn't going to be historical, but there is definitely a red bow. The 2nd novel I already have in mind will be a bit historical, but I'm not sure how far back I'll go. Right now I'm thinking 30s or 40s. We'll see how the first one goes before I know how far back I can go. And the character in the second one is named Rose. After my great-grandmother, possibly 2 greats, not sure. =D

  4. you can write a book! and if you can throw in a little creepy mystery, safely solved, for me, so much the better! i will enjoy taking a vacation into claire's story (love the name, btw!) (and rose was my grandmother's maiden name!) i have been praying for a passion to grab hold of you! i love you! k.