Thursday, August 13, 2009

day 10 - soft hearted

I had a tough time in grade school. I was from the other side of town and, well, to be honest, a little weird. Add to that the unarguable fact that I am 'soft' hearted. Mom sometimes says 'chicken' hearted. I usually say sensitive. But not only was it easy to hurt my feelings, it's actually pretty easy to hurt me physically. A simple punch on the shoulder could be enough to bring me to tears.

And we all know now absolutely, truly, unapologetically cruel kids can be.

I have made peace with it. It was actuallya round Christmas of 2001 that I watched a movie, Stepmom, and cried at the end and thought "I want to be around people that appreciate the tenderness of my heart." And I like to think I have done that. I have paid attention to how people react to me and how my spirit reacts to them. I have sought out friendships with people I am drawn to or people who seem to appreciate or respect my heart and soul. I have cultivated some incredibly good friendships that way.

Tonight I found out one of those friends is hurting. Badly. Tragically. That is all I will say. But my heart hurts for her and her family.

I cried for her tonight. But I also had to pay bills. Badly. I'm going on this thing this weekend and I need to know how much money I don't have. So, through watery eyes I paid my bills and balanced out my checkbook. While watching 27 dresses for the umpteenth time.

I've said it before, I can perty much guarantee I'll say it again, over and over again. This time, however, I am not going to start any list of my own. I am simply going to tell you to be absolutely certain that every single person you love knows you love them. Send the email. make the phone call. Text if you need to. Or post on facebook. However you need to have it said, say it. Now.

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