Laughing Mouse WI: Heart is breaking.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Heart is breaking.

I read this blog/newsletter thing called (in)courage. I enjoy it, and I skim it, and sometimes I really focus on what I'm reading. Today I finally caught up on it a bit and found a post from Ann Voskamp of A Holy Experience about hearts breaking just a little. And at the end she asked

What’s breaking your heart a bit right now?

I needed to comment. So I said:

My heart is breaking a lotta bit right now. Because My Daddy died two weeks ago. And it still doesn't quite seem real. and it has never felt right. and I make it through my days as if nothing has changed and then wonder if I'm ok or not because shouldn't I need more time off work? Shouldn't I have a harder time getting out of bed? Does it say something about me or my love for him that I am continuing to function quite well??

So my heart is breaking. My Daddy is gone. And I will never get to kiss his stubbly cheek again on this side of the veil.

And then I needed to share it further. So now it's here for you.

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My 'Disclaimer'

I make no promises nor excuses for what you may see here. I am who I am. What you see is what you get. I am deeply, madly in love with Jesus; he defines my life, my person, my being. I am single and 30-something and not entirely happy about that. I am a sister, daughter, friend, auntie and dreamer. I am imperfect and in some ways deeply flawed. I think some dirty jokes are funny, but I don't share them with many. I think some Christians are out of their friggin minds in the choices they make, but I am not the one who will answer for those choices. I am probably not 'mainstream' anything and I'm just fine with that. What you see here is the reality of my world. These are the things on my heart and my mind and I refuse to hold back. I endeavor to tell my truth and the truth of the world around me as I see it. If you don't like my opinion, then remember opinions are like belly buttons, Everyone has one. These are mine.