read this post today in my google reader and for a minute .... i thought she was talking about me!
i think if you don't already call me Mouse, then you should start calling me BassetHound.
I'm jes sayin...
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Big Loser - support
Watching Biggest Loser tonight. Inspired as always.
I saw Abby talking to her mom about how much support they are getting for her at home since she was America's choice at the last season finale. She was crying because she was so touched at how much support is coming in. Not only does she have the support of her friends and family, she has the support of America.
And I thought to myself
"I wouldn't have that much support if I did something like that"
And pretty much IMMEDIATELY caught myself up short. Reminded myself I would have EXACTLY that much support. And the support of my Maker. If I told everyone I knew that I was going to do any version of the Biggest Loser (because I'm actually not even HEAVY enough right now to make it on the show!) I would have so much support.
I told my mom early on this year that my goal, well, one of many goals was to lose 45% of my body weight. It was mid-low level for my height on the official chart. An incredibly lofty goal, but attainable. IF ... IF I had been working at this already this entire year and had already lost around 50-60ish pounds. I have not. at all. In fact, I haven't even been on a scale in 3-5 months, so I can't even tell you what I weight right now.
And I think about all the things these contestants have to say. All their reasons for being there. The families, the kids, the lives they want to have.
My only, truest, deepest reason is in the hopes of catching a husband. The hope of getting svelte and sleek and sexy enough to catch someone's eye. The paradox is that my personality is such that I won't put up with someone shallow nor someone who would only stay interested in me for exactly that svelteness. I want to be in a relationship for the long haul, and at my age, 30 years together ... and anything shallow will have LOOOONG died.
I always come back around to the other half of that problem. Even IF, if I could lose that weight and catch someone's eye. I truly don't want to live a life where I have to work that hard for that long that much in order to keep that look up for him. Of all the ridiculous things I consider and ponder and think about, the idea of nabbing a man with a sleek svelte body only to let it go completely after I get him to marry me, that is one of the rudest and meanest ridiculous things I've noodled.
So that leaves me here. Middle of the road. Uncommitted. Wishing. Single in Paradox. Maybe someday I'll have a rock bottom moment and decide to get healthy for mySELF. I'll let ya know.
I saw Abby talking to her mom about how much support they are getting for her at home since she was America's choice at the last season finale. She was crying because she was so touched at how much support is coming in. Not only does she have the support of her friends and family, she has the support of America.
And I thought to myself
"I wouldn't have that much support if I did something like that"
And pretty much IMMEDIATELY caught myself up short. Reminded myself I would have EXACTLY that much support. And the support of my Maker. If I told everyone I knew that I was going to do any version of the Biggest Loser (because I'm actually not even HEAVY enough right now to make it on the show!) I would have so much support.
I told my mom early on this year that my goal, well, one of many goals was to lose 45% of my body weight. It was mid-low level for my height on the official chart. An incredibly lofty goal, but attainable. IF ... IF I had been working at this already this entire year and had already lost around 50-60ish pounds. I have not. at all. In fact, I haven't even been on a scale in 3-5 months, so I can't even tell you what I weight right now.
And I think about all the things these contestants have to say. All their reasons for being there. The families, the kids, the lives they want to have.
My only, truest, deepest reason is in the hopes of catching a husband. The hope of getting svelte and sleek and sexy enough to catch someone's eye. The paradox is that my personality is such that I won't put up with someone shallow nor someone who would only stay interested in me for exactly that svelteness. I want to be in a relationship for the long haul, and at my age, 30 years together ... and anything shallow will have LOOOONG died.
I always come back around to the other half of that problem. Even IF, if I could lose that weight and catch someone's eye. I truly don't want to live a life where I have to work that hard for that long that much in order to keep that look up for him. Of all the ridiculous things I consider and ponder and think about, the idea of nabbing a man with a sleek svelte body only to let it go completely after I get him to marry me, that is one of the rudest and meanest ridiculous things I've noodled.
So that leaves me here. Middle of the road. Uncommitted. Wishing. Single in Paradox. Maybe someday I'll have a rock bottom moment and decide to get healthy for mySELF. I'll let ya know.
Monday, September 21, 2009
time for sleepyville after visiting The Women's Colony
45 minutes ago I told myself I was *just* going to check into my farm on facebook.
30 minutes ago I told myself I was *just* going to read up those old posts on that new blog feed I had subscribed to last week.
15 minutes ago I told myself I was *just* going to go check the rest of that website out since I so so so incredibly enjoyed the postings.
2 minuts ago I realized it was
AFTER 11:00 AT NIGHT!!!!
And now you are getting no more post. Off to Sleepyville with me!
And if you want to enjoy the INCREDIBLE amusing antics of Mrs. G, I, personally, suggest you start here. Lovely lovely lovely eye candy. ;)
Kathy - for you - click here.
Kelly - for you - click here.
And Mary - for you - click here.
Oh, who am I kidding, everyone needs to read all of those. they CRACKED ME UP! And If I weren't so galdang tired, I'd have laughed out loud.
30 minutes ago I told myself I was *just* going to read up those old posts on that new blog feed I had subscribed to last week.
15 minutes ago I told myself I was *just* going to go check the rest of that website out since I so so so incredibly enjoyed the postings.
2 minuts ago I realized it was
AFTER 11:00 AT NIGHT!!!!
And now you are getting no more post. Off to Sleepyville with me!
And if you want to enjoy the INCREDIBLE amusing antics of Mrs. G, I, personally, suggest you start here. Lovely lovely lovely eye candy. ;)
Kathy - for you - click here.
Kelly - for you - click here.
And Mary - for you - click here.
Oh, who am I kidding, everyone needs to read all of those. they CRACKED ME UP! And If I weren't so galdang tired, I'd have laughed out loud.
Monday, September 14, 2009
She's like the wind
Today a man I had a certain admiration for passed to the next life. It feels so incredibly odd to be at an age where people I have watched in movies or listened to their music forever are old enough to die! It is just surreal. And, as often, reminds me how fleeting life is.
Enjoy.
She's like the wind through my tree She rides the night next to me She leads me through moonlight Only to burn me with the sun She's taken my heart But she doesn't know what she's done Feel her breath on my face Her body close to me Can't look in her eyes She's out of my league Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs She's like the wind [SOLO]I look in the mirror and all I see Is a young old man with only a dream Am I just fooling myself That she'll stop the pain Living without her I'd go insane Feel her breath on my face Her body close to me Can't look in her eyes She's out of my league Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs She's like the wind Feel your breath on my face Your body close to me Can't look in your eyes You're out of my league Just a fool to believe (Just a fool to believe) She's like the wind (Just a fool to believe) Just a fool to believe (She's like the wind) Just a fool to believe (Just a fool to believe) She's like the wind (Just a fool to believe) Just a fool to believe She's like the wind (Just a fool...) (She's like the wind) (She's like the wind) (Just a fool...) (She's like the wind) (Just a fool...)
Enjoy.
She's like the wind through my tree She rides the night next to me She leads me through moonlight Only to burn me with the sun She's taken my heart But she doesn't know what she's done Feel her breath on my face Her body close to me Can't look in her eyes She's out of my league Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs She's like the wind [SOLO]I look in the mirror and all I see Is a young old man with only a dream Am I just fooling myself That she'll stop the pain Living without her I'd go insane Feel her breath on my face Her body close to me Can't look in her eyes She's out of my league Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs She's like the wind Feel your breath on my face Your body close to me Can't look in your eyes You're out of my league Just a fool to believe (Just a fool to believe) She's like the wind (Just a fool to believe) Just a fool to believe (She's like the wind) Just a fool to believe (Just a fool to believe) She's like the wind (Just a fool to believe) Just a fool to believe She's like the wind (Just a fool...) (She's like the wind) (She's like the wind) (Just a fool...) (She's like the wind) (Just a fool...)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
If you always do what you always did
You'll always get what you always got.
A friend reminded me of that today. And I told him the different version of the same sentiment I had run across awhile back.
What got you here,
won't get you "there."
And I got to thinking. I've been praying about change. Requesting, ad nauseum, of God that a change happen. In my heart and mind and thoughts and habits and attitudes. I've requested this a lot.
A few months ago I spent a couple of weeks petitioning for vision. And was rewarded. This blog became part of the vision i ended up with. And I have continued to neglect it. the vision and the blog. Why? habit.
Habit to "check in on facebook" as if this is a parent or jealous lover I need to verify my presence with. Habit to pour unmeasured amounts of sugar into my morning coffee. Habit to crack an extra coke if I'm stressed or 'celebrating.' Habit to leave the dishes until something smells. Habit to avoid truly pondering the things in my life that still bring me sadness, and in that avoidance to do just about anything else I can do in order to distract myself. Thus the copius amounts of time on facebook.
and the random annoyance that some of you do not post new facebook status and thoughts often enough. Because I keep refreshing, but it all looks the same. And I have to figure out what to do with myself to fill the rest of my time.
And yet, many days I feel like a chicken with her head cut off. I feel like I am running non-stop, and yet I am bored and sad and messy and lonely.
And so I beg for change. for something to be different. anything. and then I catch myself and amend that. Don't fire me or leave me jobless. Don't leave me homeless or truly broke and without income. Oh, and don't let me be terminally ill.
But my attitude, my heart, my thought processes, change those. Change my perspective. Change my mind.
All of that got me to thinking about last year's election. Things were really starting to heat up around this time last year. Obama's camp and slogan was Change. The Change We Need.
And now we have him, and he's trying to change things, and at least half of "us" are livid. In part because as much as we want "the poor" to have "affordable/reasonable healthcare" we don't want to think about anything in our lives changing to provide that. We want change in the abstract, non-committal form.
More importantly and to the point change always requires something of us. For my thoughts to change, I must pay attention. For my habits to change, I must replace the bad with better. For my heart to change, I must allow myself to feel the bad as much as I desire the good. But that requires effort and intent on my part. And as a lazy lazy lazy person, I'd rather hold the status quo.
but the pain of remaining the same is nearing the same level as the pain of changing. that would indicate to me that a new thing is starting. I'll keep you posted
A friend reminded me of that today. And I told him the different version of the same sentiment I had run across awhile back.
What got you here,
won't get you "there."
And I got to thinking. I've been praying about change. Requesting, ad nauseum, of God that a change happen. In my heart and mind and thoughts and habits and attitudes. I've requested this a lot.
A few months ago I spent a couple of weeks petitioning for vision. And was rewarded. This blog became part of the vision i ended up with. And I have continued to neglect it. the vision and the blog. Why? habit.
Habit to "check in on facebook" as if this is a parent or jealous lover I need to verify my presence with. Habit to pour unmeasured amounts of sugar into my morning coffee. Habit to crack an extra coke if I'm stressed or 'celebrating.' Habit to leave the dishes until something smells. Habit to avoid truly pondering the things in my life that still bring me sadness, and in that avoidance to do just about anything else I can do in order to distract myself. Thus the copius amounts of time on facebook.
and the random annoyance that some of you do not post new facebook status and thoughts often enough. Because I keep refreshing, but it all looks the same. And I have to figure out what to do with myself to fill the rest of my time.
And yet, many days I feel like a chicken with her head cut off. I feel like I am running non-stop, and yet I am bored and sad and messy and lonely.
And so I beg for change. for something to be different. anything. and then I catch myself and amend that. Don't fire me or leave me jobless. Don't leave me homeless or truly broke and without income. Oh, and don't let me be terminally ill.
But my attitude, my heart, my thought processes, change those. Change my perspective. Change my mind.
All of that got me to thinking about last year's election. Things were really starting to heat up around this time last year. Obama's camp and slogan was Change. The Change We Need.
And now we have him, and he's trying to change things, and at least half of "us" are livid. In part because as much as we want "the poor" to have "affordable/reasonable healthcare" we don't want to think about anything in our lives changing to provide that. We want change in the abstract, non-committal form.
More importantly and to the point change always requires something of us. For my thoughts to change, I must pay attention. For my habits to change, I must replace the bad with better. For my heart to change, I must allow myself to feel the bad as much as I desire the good. But that requires effort and intent on my part. And as a lazy lazy lazy person, I'd rather hold the status quo.
but the pain of remaining the same is nearing the same level as the pain of changing. that would indicate to me that a new thing is starting. I'll keep you posted
Friday, September 11, 2009
I remember
I wrote this on Sept 11 of 2006. I am wearing the only patriotic shirt I own. My radio station is doing a moment of silence / memorial thing. And all I can think is
"I remember..."
So, I share this. Never forget.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remember what you did. I remember watching the second plane hit. I remember going to work and being in a functioning state of shock about what had happened and yet being detached because I am so far away from it. I remember wondering what it meant and where we would go from here. How would our lives change after this. I remember hearing the names read. I remember seeing the documentaries. I remember. Nothing can make me forget. This is my Pearl Harbor. In my remembering is my power. I remember your cowardice. I remember your defeat in Pennsylvania. I remember your ongoing defeat as we continue to live our lives much as we always have.
So, I had to tell you that you can’t make me be afraid. You can’t make me slouch when I walk in an effort to look smaller. You can’t make me stop flying. You can’t make me stop traveling. You can’t make me be afraid to get on a plane, no matter what day it is. You can’t make me afraid to visit a monument or attraction. I refuse your fear. You are a coward. You thrive on fear, but not here, not anymore.
You see, you can’t even scare me with death. I will do as I please, visit what I want to see and travel to wherever I’d like without worrying about your plans. For me death would be release. Release from this world. My eternity is decided and secure. I will go on living gloriously in eternity with the love of my life.
So, you see, you have no sway over me. You have no hold on me. You get no say in my life. I will make my choices as an American and as a woman and you don’t even get input much less an opinion or a say.
You tried to defeat us, but all you really did was mobilize us. You tried to instill fear and all you did was scare us for a moment. We are not afraid. We are still flying. We are still traveling. You have not stopped us. You have, however, drawn wrath down upon your heads. May God have mercy on your souls. We have not forgotten and neither has He.
Copyright 2008 TheLaughingMouse
"I remember..."
So, I share this. Never forget.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remember what you did. I remember watching the second plane hit. I remember going to work and being in a functioning state of shock about what had happened and yet being detached because I am so far away from it. I remember wondering what it meant and where we would go from here. How would our lives change after this. I remember hearing the names read. I remember seeing the documentaries. I remember. Nothing can make me forget. This is my Pearl Harbor. In my remembering is my power. I remember your cowardice. I remember your defeat in Pennsylvania. I remember your ongoing defeat as we continue to live our lives much as we always have.
So, I had to tell you that you can’t make me be afraid. You can’t make me slouch when I walk in an effort to look smaller. You can’t make me stop flying. You can’t make me stop traveling. You can’t make me be afraid to get on a plane, no matter what day it is. You can’t make me afraid to visit a monument or attraction. I refuse your fear. You are a coward. You thrive on fear, but not here, not anymore.
You see, you can’t even scare me with death. I will do as I please, visit what I want to see and travel to wherever I’d like without worrying about your plans. For me death would be release. Release from this world. My eternity is decided and secure. I will go on living gloriously in eternity with the love of my life.
So, you see, you have no sway over me. You have no hold on me. You get no say in my life. I will make my choices as an American and as a woman and you don’t even get input much less an opinion or a say.
You tried to defeat us, but all you really did was mobilize us. You tried to instill fear and all you did was scare us for a moment. We are not afraid. We are still flying. We are still traveling. You have not stopped us. You have, however, drawn wrath down upon your heads. May God have mercy on your souls. We have not forgotten and neither has He.
Copyright 2008 TheLaughingMouse
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