As a single girl who has her eyes open to the opportunities in front of her I walk a thin line. I allow myself the time to be at home, alone to veg and recuperate when I need to. But I need to watch myself that I don't become the old cat lady, without the cats (for now). So, I force myself to do some things sometimes. Sometimes I cop out at the last minute. Sometimes I talk myself into it at the last minute. Some occasions are harder than others. For me personally, weddings are actually really difficult to endure. And any other situation in which I feel envy over someone else getting something I want.
Many times I go to a "Thing" with the thought
"Maybe this is the place I will meet a man who sees my heart and my mind and my sparkling eyes and isn't put off by the Santa Belly." Well, not quite that entire thing, but basically that sentiment. "You Just Never Know" is another favorite mantra.
With that in mind I often debate how much to "DO" myself up. Full 100% makeup and hair? 80% each? Full Hair, minimal makeup? Vice versa? How much do I consider the clothes? Is this an occasion for high heels??
Tonight I went to a thing. Had a good time. Glad I went. Did full 100% makeup and 80-90% hair. Considered my clothes, but not to the point of giving myself a headache or a nervous breakdown. Decided on New High Heels. Felt good about all this until I ended up walking more than 5 minutes in the heels and realized maybe this wasn't the day to break them in, but it was too late.
I got home a bit ago, around 11 tonight, and while getting ready for bed I thought to myself:
"Well that was a waste of a full face of makeup."
I run that constant debate in my head. If I don't look my best maybe a guy won't notice me long enough to catch my sparkling wit and personality. On the other hand, if you do notice and that's all you notice, you won't be around long because there are many days where eye shadow never makes it out of the compact.
I simply try to keep in mind that
the People who Care Don't Matter
and the People Who Matter Don't Care.
I try to put my very bestest foot forward when I can and when it doesn't endager my own mental health and I leave the rest in God's hands. Let's face it, if all you see is the shade of eye shadow or lip gloss I happen to be wearing tonight, you're probably not gonna stick around for the long haul. And I am definitely interested in the long haul. Which, by my definitions, does NOT include a 5 am wakeup call to apply fresh makeup!